A Joke For Halloween To Tickle Your Funny Bone!
- Jenn Garcia
- Jul 4, 2023
- 5 min read
Updated: Jul 19
With Halloween coming up, here’s a quick, family‑friendly batch of one‑liners you can share at parties, in class, or while handing out candy. Pick your favorites our collection of 100 short Halloween jokes, pass them around, and get ready for a few groans mixed in with the laughs.
Tip: you can write down any of these spooky jokes for Halloween and hide them in a Halloween tote bag, just pull them out when nobody's looking!
100 Spooktacular Halloween Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone! Viewer Beware... they'll get a little corny.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no body to go with!
What do ghosts serve for dessert? I Scream!
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange!
Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
Why did the mummy become a detective? He was good at unwrapping mysteries!
What do witches use in their hair? Scare spray!
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka‑haunt‑us!
Why did the ghost go to the party? For the "booze"!
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? He had bat breath!
What's a skeleton's least favorite room in the house? The living room!
What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boo‑jeans!
What do you call a witch's garage? A broom closet!
Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!
Why did the ghost go to the doctor? He wasn't feeling "boo"‑tiful!
What's a ghost's favorite dessert? Boo‑berry pie!
What do you call two witches living together? Broom‑mates!
How do monsters tell their future? They read their horror‑scope!
Why did Dracula take a job at the blood bank? He wanted direct deposit.
What's a ghost's favorite ride at the amusement park? The roller‑ghoster!
What do you get when you cross a black cat with a lemon? Sour‑puss!
What do you call a monster with no neck? The lost headless creature!
Why don't mummies take vacations? They're afraid they'll unwind!
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A fur coat that bites!
How do you calm down a nervous witch? Give her a spell of tea.
What do you call a haunted chicken? A poultry‑geist!
What does a ghost call his true love? His ghoulfriend.
What did one ghost say to the other ghost? "Do you believe in people?"
What's a ghost's favorite party game? Hide‑and‑shriek!
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash!
What's a vampire's favorite holiday? Fangs‑giving!
Why do skeletons make bad secret agents? You can read them like a book.
What do you call a scary pumpkin that's afraid of everything? A fraidycat‑o'‑lantern!
What kind of dog does Dracula have? A bloodhound!
Why do witches fly on brooms? Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
What do you call a skeleton who won't get up in the morning? Lazybones!
Why did the zombie go to school? To improve his "brain"power!
What's a skeleton's favorite musical instrument? The trombone!
Why do ghosts make great cheerleaders? They have lots of spirit!
Why did the ghost go to the party? He heard it was going to be a "boo"‑last!
Why was the mummy so tense? He couldn't unwind!
What's a ghost's favorite fruit? Booberries!
Why don't mummies tell secrets? They keep everything under wraps!
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A sand‑witch!
Why do skeletons hate winter? The cold goes right through them!
What do ghosts use to clean their hair? Sham‑boo!
What do you call a little monster's parents? Mum and dead!
What’s a vampire’s favorite sport? Batminton.
Why did the zombie skip dessert? He was already stuffed.
Why are vampires easy to fool? Because they're all suckers!
Where do mummies keep their money? In crypt‑o currency.
How does a scarecrow drink his coffee? With straw.
What kind of key does a ghost use to unlock their room? A spoo‑key!
Why was the haunted computer so confident? It had plenty of cache.
What does Frankenstein use to fix a broken doorbell? A monster key.
Why do witches wear name tags? So they know which witch is which!
What do ghosts wear to keep warm? Boo‑tees!
Why did the werewolf stop playing the piano? He lost all his chops!
Why don’t werewolves use calendars? Every day is a hairy situation.
Why do ghosts like to ride elevators? It raises their spirits!
What's a vampire's favorite type of ship? A blood vessel!
What is a ghost’s favorite nursery rhyme? Little Boo Peep.
Why don't witches like to ride their brooms? They're afraid of flying off the handle!
Why did the pumpkin get promoted? It had a gourd work ethic.
What's a ghost's favorite game? Hide‑and‑ghost‑seek!
How do skeletons stay so calm? Nothing gets under their skin.
What did the bat say to the impatient vampire? Hang in there.
Why do witches love baseball? They're great at stealing brooms.
Why did the mummy go to school? He wanted to improve his wrapping skills!
What do you call a ghost that haunts the empty houses of rich people? A real estate phantom!
Why don't mummies tell secrets? They're afraid to "unwind" the truth!
What's a witch's favorite subject in school? Spelling!
What happens when a ghoul fails math class? It gets booed off the honor roll.
Why did the cemetery hire more staff? People were dying to get in.
Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them!
What did the ghost say to the bee? Boo bee!
Why are spiders great at baseball? They always catch flies!
How does a ghost take its coffee? With scream and sugar.
What’s a mummy’s favorite genre of music? Wrap.
Why are pumpkins so good at sports? They have a lot of seed.
What did the vampire say after his dentist appointment? Fang you very much.
Why don’t skeletons ever go bungee jumping? They don’t have the heart for it.
How do you invite a monster over? Send a creepy‑cue card.
Why did the witch visit the mechanic? Her broom had a spell check light.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire hunter? A fur coat with a silver lining!
What do you call a polite zombie? A civil dead.
Why was the ghost fired from the barista job? He kept disappearing on break.
What's Dracula's favorite kind of coffee? Decoffinated.
How do you stop a werewolf from howling? Press paws.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
Why are graveyards noisy? Because of all the coffin.
What do ghosts use to wash their cars? A scream washer.
Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation.
What's a jack‑o‑lantern's favorite workout? Pump‑kin iron.
Why did the ghoul go to therapy? He had too many demons.
What do you get when Frankenstein wins a race? Monster triumphed.
How does Dracula keep in shape? He runs on count‑reps.
What did the skeleton say at the comedy show? "I'm dead, that was funny."
Why do pumpkins sit on doorsteps? They have no feet to stand inside.
What do witches do at night school? Take broom‑economics.
Enjoy sharing these jokes for Halloween and don't forget to take a look at some Halloween tote bags to bring with you! 🎃👻
